how to make cake


Grey (6) had an appointment at the doctor today so Penner (4) and I had the house to ourselves.

Penner finds an odd freedom in his older brother not being around and it manifests itself in different ways. Today he came to my desk and said, “What’s something we can do together, daddy?” I explained that I was working but could talk to him while he did something if he wanted. So 15 minutes of subconscious conversation later, I realized he was standing on the kitchen counter staring into one of the cabinets.

“What are you doing, Penner?”

“I’m going to make a cake.”

He was very serious. I don’t know how to make a cake either, but I am aware that my condition represents a stopping point in that process–a level of enlightenment not shared by Penner. I encouraged him to get together everything he felt was necessary for culinary perfection, and assisted with anything fragile.

As it turns out, here is how you make a cake:

Get a spoon for mixing.

Now get a bowl. Not that kind, an adult one with diamonds on the side like at breakfast.


Two small boxes of raisins

Strawberry jelly

Old grapes that probably should have been thrown out by now

One piece of bread (preferably the crust end)



Put too much strawberry jelly into the adult bowl. Sprinkle all of the raisins into the jelly, pressing any that don’t self-submerge into the bottom of the bowl with your thumb. Add the grapes, but do not smash these with your thumb. Tear up the piece of bread into bite-size bits and add to the bowl.


Add 2 cups of water and stir again.


Allow to chill in the fridge until mom gets home.



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